Machli Jal Ki Rani Hai

A Rude and Insulting English Translation of a Hindi Nursery Rhyme:
[see below for original text]

Silvery, shimmery queen of the lake;
Flipping its fin in your stupid face.
In water, it lives day and night;
Smaller her world than your moronic plight.

Touch me not, you blabbering bitch!
Says she, your ugliness makes her twitch.
To breathe the air that of mental molasses reeks;
My and her chances of sanity are bleak.


Original Hindi Text:

Machli Jal Ki Rani Hai,
Jivan Uska Paani Hai,
Haath Lagaaoge Toh Dar Jaayegi,
Baahar Nikaloge toh mar jayegi.

[Each line corresponds to two lines of the English text]

Literal Translation of Machli...

Fish is the Queen of the Ocean,
Her life is Water,
Touch her and she'll be afraid,
Take her out of water, and she'll die.

Okay, make do with this....I'm no translator! ;)

I abide not by rules

[yet, to be finished]

I abide not by rules that I know of,
But those I don't.

I with my flag of equality
Stand tall with my mother bent.
I with possession of my own body,
Let the bubble grow and burst:
Misforture of a body rent.
I, with command over this body,
Am a hungry beast for unwilling flesh.
I, living in a free world,
Am slave to multi-coloured adverts;
Caught in a Capitalistic mesh.
I, with liberty to cast my vote,
Discern each man as 'Evil'/'Evil' or both.

I with my freedom, am bound just as each man.
I with my heart, am tied just as each heart.

Just...

In the '60s one had The beatles singing "I wanna hold your hand.."

Today, we have 50 Cent singing 'I wanna get in your pants..'

The DG Questionnaire

Ten interview questions to the Deputy-General of Police, newly posted to the city
(as per the assignment set by a darling boring prof.):

1. Which is your favourite type of Bhutta?
2. Do you really fantasize about your wife in a 'Corn stalk' outfit?
3. How do you react to the popularity of popcorn over the real deal-corn?
4. Why did the Egyptian King dream of seven stalks of corn?
5. Do you like listening to 'Korn'?
6. What was your first reaction when you learnt that your IInd standard class-partner ate your whole tiffin of boiled corn?
7. When did you first kill for corn?
8. How did my mother's corn-sabzi make you give up sex for 30 days?
9. Did Mimoh Chakraborty's pissing on the bhutta affect your selection of masala seasoning?
10. Why did you not mail your magazine pagination on 'Corn porn' to you Feature&Opinion professor?

The Coming World Part-I

[This is the first part of a series wherin I will muse, hope and wish about & for a New World. A World, which my guts tell me, is the Coming World.]


Why, at all, do we have fairy tales? Isn't it just completely unfair? When a beautiful child enters our world, we give it love and we take care of it, but we also feed her impression-less mind imaginary tales of Perfection in an obviously imperfect world.
Why, at all, even if in humour, do we play little jokes and pranks with (rather 'on') children? Foolishly, we corrode the natural trust and faith which blesses an innocent mind. A young mind is free, open, trusting and-most of all- loving.
Why not create an environment that fosters the retention [note: not 'development', 'retention'] of human character as it is-at the time of birth- perfectly as God Intends it to be.
A lovely place where Humanity blooms in hearts and minds. (Perhaps, the beginning of our new world from these pure individuals?)
Reading child-care books, hearing parental authorities talk, it is easy to note our attitude and approach to children. 'For the proper development of the child....So that the child grows up to be a better human being...etc'
It is presumptuous of us to think that young children need to be made into something, that their little hearts and minds aren't naturally perfect. After all, aren't babies the fastest learners? I, for one, tend to believe that if not the brain, but the rest of the little people comes in pretty good shape from high up above.

I Surrender Lord...

I Surrender Lord, Lord I Surrender Lord...

Oprah sand these lines on the Larry King Show. So stirring, these words are. As i sung these lines to myself while typing, i found my body gently swaying to its mellifluous lyrics.

As i find myself able to be frank here, presuming that no human shall ever read this; i would like to entertaining my ghost readers with stories of My God and me...

Today, My God is golu-molu and always wears Red. He is an All-Knowing, Super-Calm, Far-Sighted Genius! Last week, He took me to Ram Khand. Well, our entourage never really reached the actual spot, but at least, the edge. Good enough; considering that we hiked 9-10km uphill through little ponds and waterfalls, discovered an obscure but important fort of Shivaji's and went successfully where no civilized Mumbaikars have ever been before!!

It was mystical, it felt special; like a deserved entry into one of God's VIP farm-houses. Buffaloes bathing in muck, table-top tea fields thousands of metres up, the sweet flowing water in little water-falls, good-natured hearts and the aim of our trek; each contributed to the perfection of that moment.

5 and a half hours uphill and another 3 and a half down- it was perfect-exhausting of course, but perfect.